Maze
by Mirage DeDreamer
Summary: *UPDATED* Okay, so this probabally isn't the story you wanted but I was inspired! Read on as things finally get interesting! Dib and Zim have finally got their oppurtunity to escape and GIR just.....
1. Enter The Snorkans

Author's Note: I decided to combine the original chapters 1 and 2 and go through and correct some of the typos that have been bugging me. I was going to wait until I had the next chapter finished to post this but due to "technical" difficulties I'm not sure how often I will get the chance to post so I decided just to get this out so you wont think I'm dead or something. Anyway, there's not much change here but I decided to change the title to accommodate for a new direction with the plot later on. The scene that inspired this whole thing has been taken out, I here that happens more than people think.

Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim and Ztarlight thought up the name Snorkans. Thanks Ztarlight!

****

Reading 'One Bad Day' before you read this is recommended

"Oh, my head," groaned Dib as he slowly regained consciousness. He felt rather like he had been run over by a large flatbed truck and then of course the said truck, being rather spiteful and cliché, had backed up and done it again. 

"Perhaps you need more of that greasy fur you humans call hair," suggested Zim. He had been up for the last 15 minutes thinking up ways of insulting the human and he full intended to "milk" it.

"What would you know about hair?" retorted Dib, dizziness putting him at a disadvantage. 

"Obviously more than you judging by that ridiculous whippy thing on your head," snorted Zim. Dib rolled his eyes skywards, it was unclear as to whether he was trying to discredit Zim's remark or get a good look at the "whippy thing" that was indeed on his head. Either way, he didn't reply.

"So where are we anyway?" asked Dib after a few moments of awkward silence.

"How should I know human?" replied Zim sneeringly.

"Well I've never been out of my country let alone off my planet," replied Dib, feeling that he had to state the obvious. "You are a member of 'Irken Elite' after all," he added with a goodly amount of sarcasm thrown in to make it interesting. Zim just scowled back having no real reply. As much as he hated to admit it the human had a point. 

Feeling that he needed to beat the human at this game of wits Zim looked around the cubicle they were being held in hoping to find some way of getting out. Dib did likewise. However, this was the 52 time Zim had examined the cell and true to his previous results he saw no means of escape; no windows, no vents, not even a door. Zim went over in his mind all the races with instant teleportation technology; the prospects were bleak indeed.

"We'll have to wait for somebody to come and get us," said Dib, no more pleased than Zim.

"Nice to see your grasp of the obvious has remained firm," muttered Zim. Dib just stuck his tongue out in reply. "Oh that's just sad Dib. Besides, mines longer!" replied Zim sticking out his own tongue.

"Well I can touch my nose," said Dib with pride, even as he said it he realized just how lame that sounded. Still, he had made the statement and prove it he must. So with much effort, he daintily touched his tongue to his noise.

"Yeah well I can too," replied Zim defensively. "And I can do it better."

"Ha! You don't even have a nose!" yelled Dib pointing at him accusingly.

"I do too!" answered Zim quickly and smugly. " And what a nose it is! Much better than your mere human noses."

"Oh yeah. Where is it?" Zim faltered, he had no idea how to reply to that. Dib grinned smugly.

"Well it's under my skin," improvised Zim sounding like he actually knew what he was talking about. "You can't see it." Dib was actually unsure about what to say for a moment.

"You lie!"

"I do not!"

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

***Meanwhile*****

"I told you the door on this floor need repairs, but does anyone listen to me? No. I'm just the nameless faceless middle child."

"Will you shut up," replied Verandaz (who from here on in will be cause Daz for the sake of time) the oldest of the three Snorkans present.

"I don't have any lines in this part, I resent that," said Tesra the youngest of the three Snorkan sisters for no apparent reason. 

"Is this even worth it?" asked the nameless faceless one. "I mean, they looked kind of… well."

"Stupid," inserted Tesra.

"Listen, I'm sick of you guys questioning my judgement," said Daz as she proceeded to fiddle with the control panel trying to unseal the door. Finally she found the right two wires and an opening appeared. "I know I've made mistakes in the past but this time I think we've actually found some intelligent beings. Just go with me on this, I have a good feeling." Neither of her two sisters replied, they just stood there looking straight past Daz. Finally she turned around and looked into the room.

***

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Not! Not! Not!"

"Too! Too! Too!"

"I DO NOT!"

"Liar, liar pants on fire!"

"I don't wear pants…"

"Oh yeah."

The three snorkans watched the exchange in a state of disappointed confusion. "What was that you were saying about intelligence?" muttered Tesra. Daz just glared daggers at her sister in response.

"Hey Zim," said Dib suddenly realizing that they were no longer alone.

"Yes pitiful earth monkey?"

"Who are they?"

"How should I know?"

"I thought we already went over this?"

"Look here you filthy little…" 

"SILENCE!" yelled the nameless faceless middle child. Everyone in the room jumped and looked at her. "They're all yours Daz."

"Uh yeah," said Daz still stunned. But then the Snorkan shook herself awake and turned to the prisoners. "We are the three top advisors to Zorga the Ixnth, queen of the Snorkan Empire. Our names are Verandaz and Tesra," announced Daz proudly.

"But there are three of you," pointed out Dib. Everyone just ignored him as usual.

"What do you want with us?" Growled Zim, he already had an idea though, he had learned about Snorkans at the Invader School. It was hard to believe that the two species had originated in the same manner and from almost the same gene pool. The Snorkans were tall, with green eyes and curly antennae (which meant that they were female). Their skin was also a hideous shade of blue compared to the lovely green that covered all Irkens. Zim couldn't stop, not that he tried, the wave of pride that swept over him when he compared the two races. There was no race in the galaxy that could compare to Irkens in his mind anyway. He glanced at the weakling human and didn't even bother to try.

The pitiful creature was attempting to glare at everyone at once, probably feeling indignant about being ignored. It suddenly occurred to him that Dib had no clue what a Snorkan was. In fact he hardly knew what an Irken was. Zim felt the smallest twinge of pity for him. It must… what was it humans said? It must suck not to be Irken. 

While all this had been going on in Zim's mind the Snorkans had been explaining why they had captured the two. And since Zim already knows what's going on we're gonna back track a few minutes for the sake of Dib and the rest of us humans. 

***

"What do we want with you," repeated Daz mockingly. "Oh it's quite simple really."

"We're making you and your little friend compete in a bunch of pointless competitions in hopes that you'll preform senseless acts of violence all for the sake of betting so we can boost our economy," said the middle snorkan in a matter-of-fact tone of voice. The other two snorkans stared at her. "Oh like you didn't know," she retorted defensively. 

"Actually I was going to tell him about our queen and the whole tradition of capturing hapless beings and having them kill each other," said Daz sounding rather disappointed.

"Yes but we have time constraints and that beginning was going NOWHERE!" said N.F.O (Nameless Faceless One) causing everyone to jump at the last word. Zim even snapped out of his little trance and started to pay attention.

"I think it's time I took someone to visit the infirmary for their medication," said Tesra in a tone loaded with mock cheerfulness. 

"What! I don't have time for that now!" yelled Daz causing everyone to stare. "I have to open the maze, report to head quarters, and place all my illegal bets! Oh wait…" Daz chuckled nervously as everyone stared at her unblinkingly.

"I told her not to have that fourth drink at lunch," muttered N.F.O to Tesra, who nodded in agreement.

"I had heard that," growled Daz glaring at them. 

"Good, I was afraid your hearing was going along with your brain," said Tesra venomously.

"Mother always said she'd be trouble," pointed out N.F.O.

"Ha! I knew it! Mom always liked you best!" yelled Daz pointing an accusing finger. 

Now Dib had been watching all this out of sheer boredom and was beginning to wonder if every alien he would ever meet would always be insane. He had had an alarming amount of encounters with mentally ill aliens considering he hadn't been expecting to actually meet any aliens at all until he joined some scientific institute. He tried to remember just when things had started going down hill. He remembered something about fanfiction authors and the rest was a blur…

"Look who's talking you can't even open a door!"

"It's not my fault no one ever bothers to inspect any of the machines around here!"

"It tried to tell…"

"Will you shut up! You've been absolutely no help what so ever!"

"Well I never!" Zim cleared his throat and the three snorkans' attention snapped back to the two prisoners. 

"Yes!" all three said in union.

"Aren't you guys supposed to torture us or something," said Dib cutting in before Zim could say anything. Zim's eyes narrowed at his choice of words.

"What? Oh yeah, the maze," said Daz suddenly remembering. "You must face the maze and survive, if you can accomplish this we will give you your freedom." Dib couldn't help thinking that the moment had been ruined before it had ever started. But none the less Daz continued on undaunted as she dramatically produced a remote from somewhere inside the folds of her robes. Glaring at the two for effect she pushed a large red button. Gears ground together, the lights dimmed, an insect hanging from the ceiling in the corner rolled it's seven eyes at the corny special effects, and the wall started to slide back. 

The wall slid back and the overly bright fluorescent lights, that didn't really compliment the interior of the maze at all, blinded them. Dib peered cautiously past the glaring lights and dancing little green spots to see a long hallway that split into two at the end. On the whole it didn't look particularly threatening but he decided to fake it none the less.

"We have to go in there?" he asked pointing.

"Yes!" said Daz obviously enjoying the moment.

"Oh. Darn," said Dib rather unenthusiastically. Zim smacked him in the back of the head and he turned around to glare at the Irken. Zim was obviously paranoid about something Dib just wished he knew what. 

"Go now!" yelled Daz as the two slowly picked themselves up and shuffled towards the opening. "And boys." They turned to look at her. "Do try to make this as entertaining as possible, we have a whole half hour show we have to do at 7 about this." 

****************

GIR looked over the spot where his master and the human had been just a few minutes ago for the millionth time. Once again, seeing nothing of any interests except a paperclip and some pocket lint, he decided to give up the search. It was now totally clear, even to GIR, that the two rivals were no where in the room or probably the house. In that case he should probably do something.

There would almost certainly be something in the lab that could help him locate Zim. Then he could go after them, thought GIR warming to the idea. Yes! He could go and rescue them! Then he'd hop in his bright red, super secret, heroic space ship and fly them home. He could be a hero! Or he could just go get a brainfreezy…

GIR carefully weighed the choices and then headed for the door. He had learned that sometimes it was just best to let Zim take care of himself. Besides, he reeeeaallly needed a brainfreezy and maybe some nachos, and a taco! As GIR left the house he was certain he was making the right decision. Besides, he hadn't been all that sure where to get a bright red, super secret space ship anyway.

****************

"So this is the MAZE," said Dib putting a sarcastic emphasis on the word 'maze'. He tapped one of the walls; it sounded hollow. "Not that scary really. I mean those fluorescent lights are annoying but…" 

"Silence human!" hissed Zim. "You have no idea what you've gotten us into this time."

"Me? They're your enemies Zim, I don't even really know what they are," replied Dib more than a little annoyed.

"They're Snorkans and if you had any brains at all you'd be worried too," replied Zim as he headed down the hall.

"Oh come on," said Dib certain Zim must be trying to scare him. "They were arguing about a stupid door, you're telling me they could actually think up some sort of trap," he chuckled a little at the thought. "This is nothing I can't handle." Zim halted his steady stride and turned to glare at the impudent human.

"You think you can make it through one of these mazes human? Then you wont mind going alone," he hissed his eyes going narrow and his gaze filled with loathing.

Dib raised an eyebrow. "Fine, I have a great sense of direction," he boasted just as he walked into the wall separating the two different routes. That was all to cliché, he thought as he rubbed his forehead. Zim gave him a smug look.

"At least I won't have to worry about you ruining my mission once I escape from this rat hole," said Zim as he turned and headed down the left hallway. Dib glared at him as he left and pointedly took the right one. 

"It's just some pathetic maze, how hard can it be?" he muttered to reassure himself. All the same a rebellious voice in the back of his head muttered, 'Heh, famous last words.'

AN: Alright, on to the next chapter where hopefully something interesting will happen. Reviews appreciated as well as constructive criticism if you think it sucks. However, senseless flames will be used to reheat my chicken soup so don't even bother. Only I'm allowed to insult my work for no reason!


	2. Welcome to the Maze

Author's Note: Well here it is, another chapter pulled from the depths of my mind (it's scary back there). Kind of a slow start and not much humor until you get to the part about GIR (*chuckles*). Anyway, stuff finally happens and progress is made!

Disclaimer: Guess what! I'm not Jhonen Vasquez! I don't own this stuff, you can sue me but I only have 33 cense. You can keep my brother as collateral if you want.

Ryan: Oh ha ha.

***

Zim looked around. So far he had only been going down a very long hallway. Zim had of course heard the legend of Tallest Red Drix and the never-ending hallway on the distant planet Kyaz, but he had never believed them. However this particular hallway was testing his skepticism very very thoroughly. 

Finally he came to a door. Totally fed up with the maze already Zim grabbed the doorknob and flung it open deciding to let whatever would happen happen. Nothing happened. Instead he just entered a room that looked suspiciously like his classroom back on earth. He looked around noticing that there were about 6 entrances, possibly more if he checked for hidden ones. Hmmming to himself he tried to decide what direction to take. Then suddenly metal covering started sliding down over the openings. Crap! He was being timed! He sprinted for the closest door and jumped through, barely missing being squished. 

The new room looked like the inside of a cave. The walls were made of stone and almost looked natural. In the middle of the room a great chasm opened up, looking over it looked bottomless. Zim decided he didn't want to find out. Fortunately a rickety looking rope bridge spanned the chasm.

Zim peered across the gap to the other side of the cavern; he could only make out two exits. Instinct told him not to trust either one, but what could he do. He was counting the seconds in his head but he had no idea how many seconds he was supposed to count off. Deciding he'd rather not find out what would happen if he were to get trapped in one of these rooms Zim sprinted across the bridge. Zim looked at one door then the other, he couldn't decide. Instinct told him that no maze could be this easy. Looking up he noticed a ledge jutting out from the wall, an easy to scale wall. In a second Zim was on the ledge and diving through the door. 

He was in another room now. He found a door that would send him more or less straight ahead and sprinted for him, counting off in his head the whole time. He got through the portal this time ahead of schedule. Zim was feeling confident. He completed three more rooms, the third being the hardest with moving platforms that dropped as soon as he touched them and various sharp things falling from the sky. Had he been there, Dib probably would have pointed out how much like a video game it was. But Dib was not there and Zim very rarely played any sort of human games so the observation went unmade. Anyway, Zim made it to the door he wanted without to much trouble and was still feeling extremely confident that he was making progress and that the next room would be one of that last. Confident until he realized the next room was the one he had started in. 

A surprised 'hmmph' was all he could manage to say as he skidded to a halt and studied his surroundings. This was not at all what he had suspected. Perhaps, he reasoned, he had gone as far forward as he could and the portal had sent him back to the beginning. He was already beginning to picture the lay out of the maze in his head. A minor set back. He laughed it off.

"Foolish Snorkans!" he yelled aloud. Getting no response he continued with his boasting. "You dare challenge ZIM! I'll be out of here and back on Earth plotting global conquest in no time. And while I'm at it, I'm sure the Tallest would appreciate some samples of you teleportation techno….stuff!" More insane laughter followed this declaration, and then Zim remembered the time limit and sprinted for the door to the cave room. Still laughing he headed for the rope bridge and ran smack into a wall. Muttering some unclean things Zim took a step back and looked around. This was NOT the cave room. 

***

GIR happily walked into the house and plopped down on the couch leaving the door wide open. The little robot didn't notice at all as insects, bugs and other 'things that should to remain outside' wandered into the house, instead he started slurping up his chocolate bubblegum brainfreezy. He did notice that his master was not yet home and was about to go down to the lab and look for something that might help him find Zim when he suddenly remembered seeing something.

"I'm gonna watch the 'Scary Monkey' show!" yelled GIR happily. He jumped off the couch sending cushions in all directions. Squealing with delight he turned on the TV and plopped down on the floor. Of course the only thing on was commercials, that's 80% of what's on TV anyway. But GIR was not disappointed, as far as he was concerned commercials were the best part. And this commercial was particularly interesting. 

Announcer: Learn to be a doctor in you free time at home while juggling two jobs, five kids, and TV time. In no time you'll be working in a respected medical institute making thousands of dollars. Yes! It can be done, thanks to a wonderful program put together by Ima Quack in Utah. Now you to can be a professional doctor.

GIR: Oooh, would I get to wear one of those coats?

Announcer: You can ever wear those nifty white coats!

GIR: *squeals in delight* 

Announcer: Just talk to one of our proud pupils!

Proud pupil (24 year old blonde lady in a white coat and pink shirt standing in what is obviously a physician's office): Hi, my name is Patricia Sludgecakes and I'd like to tell you about my experience with Ima Quack's brilliant program. 

GIR watched fascinated. These people sure were nice and those coats did look cool.

Patricia: I was working part time in a tattoo parlor while raising my 3 year old quintuplets and juggling a career as a dog groomer, but I really wanted to be a doctor. So I decided to go back to college. But then they wanted me to take all these useless courses like Literature and Medical science, so I called the toll free number at the bottom of the screen. They sent me they're very informative booklet and I filled out the coupon in the back. And now I'm working as a physician in a major medical institute making big bucks helping people. Infact, I just finished with one of my happy patients a few moments ago. *The lady smiles charmingly as a guy stumbles out from behind a door and collapses screaming about his spine in the background, the scene quickly changes to a blue screen with writing* 

Announcer: Just call the toll free number at the bottom of the screen, that's 1-800-666-IMA-QUACK, and we'll send you our booklet with the coupon in the back to get your diploma. Call now and we'll even find you a job working as a physician in your area. All you have to do is call the toll free number, 1-800-666-IMA-QUACK, and have your credit card ready!

"I'm gonna get me one of them coats!" yelled GIR as he ran to the kitchen and took the toilet entrance to the lab. He grabbed a fake credit card Zim had made and ran back upstairs. Grinning happily he jumped on the couch, making the cushions bounce again, and grabbed the phone. Quickly he dialed the toll free number.

***

Dib ran screaming down a tunnel, a large boulder rolling after him. He was in desperate danger of being squished if the irony of such a classic dilemma didn't kill him first. To make a long story short he made it to a gap in the floor, which he somehow managed to jump saving his skin for now.

"That was….easy," gasped Dib as he tried to catch his breath. Eventually his breath did come back as well as his ego. "That was no problem at all," he said confidently as he started off down the tunnel. He had been going through tunnels and passageways for quite a while now and he was beginning to get the hang of it. He tried to keep to a straight line but more often then not it wasn't his choice as to which path he took, as the boulder had inevitably reminded him. 

He continued walking down the narrow path he was on until finally he came to a large cavern. The cave like setting continued as it had sense he taken a right turn in the first room he had come across, after that it had been all caves. Dib was sick of caves he wanted to home. But that wouldn't happen until he beat the Snorkans at there own game.

"Alright, I'm ready for a challenge," called Dib not quite as loudly and boldly as he had intended. As if on cue a crack opened in the cavern wall and something started clanking towards him. Dib swallowed nervously, he'd done it this time. Whatever it was it was definitely, large, metallic and….cute? Dib's jaw dropped as something that looked like an oversized robochi stepped out into the cavern.

"This is a challenge?" he said as the thing started to yap at him. Bending down he picked up a pebble and threw it at the little toy robo dog. The thing made a synthetic growl and suddenly its eyes turned red. "Uh-oh," muttered Dib as an all too predictable transformation scene started to take place. 

"Alright," said Dib peering up at the robotic three-headed wolf creature that was now glaring down at him. "This is a challenge." The thing fired off various lasers sending Dib scurrying for cover. 

"To much of a challenge!" screamed Dib as he dived for cover.

AN: Wow, that was a lame ending! Still very short. Review it anyway, somebody has to have a suggestion on how to improve this! By the way, do those "Learn to be a doctor in your spare time!" commercials disturb anyone else?


	3. Trouble

Author's Note: I don't know if it's the cough syrup or the cough but I just felt like writing something. It's kind of short but it shouldn't be quite as lame as the other chapters so please R/R. 

Disclaimer: Me no own Zim.

***

Dib gulped as his scant covering was destroyed. His only defense was running and even that wasn't working very well. The giant robot was considerably quicker than it looked and it was hard enough for Dib to dodge the scorching attacks let alone think up a plan for retaliation. Though he supposed that was probably how the Snorkans wanted it. For the first time Dib was having real doubts about his ability to beat this alien technology. He leaped away from another blast from the laser cannons mounted on the mechanical horrors back, forget beating this thing he was questioning his ability to survive!

Shaking his head to clear it of such thoughts Dib took cover behind a rock jutting out from the cavern wall. The cover didn't last long, it disintegrated the second the blast hit it but it did give Dib just enough time to look around. He noticed a strange looking shadow on the other side of the cavern. His next run for cover brought him close enough to realize that it wasn't a shadow at all but a small opening to some sort of tunnel. Barely stopping to think Dib ran for it and dived in. 

Scrambling to his feet Dib had just enough time to congratulate himself on escaping. But then the sound of breaking rock reached him and he realized that the killer robot wasn't through with him yet. The tunnel he was in was just big enough for him to run upright, and run he did. It wasn't long before he saw the light at the end of the tunnel. Dib took a deep gasping breath and pushed muscles to new limits. He had to get out of here before that thing caught him.

He burst out of the tunnel into what felt like fresh air. He seemed to be outdoors under an orange sky on a ledge sticking out from a rock wall. Dib had no idea where he was so he decided to assume he was somehow still in the maze. He looked around. There was no cover and the ledge dropped off abruptly. He was most certainly at a dead end, no pun intended. A growl echoed from the tunnel he had come out of. Trying unsuccessfully to swallow the limp in his throat Dib turned to face his pursuer. He didn't even bother to try to think of some way out.

***

Zim looked around. How had he gotten lost like this? The door he had taken had most definitely been the one to the cave room! Where was the bridge? The two doors? The room he was in was circular and metallic as well as littered with mettle blocks. How could this be? He never got lost like this; he had been going straight! Could it have been another room built to look exactly like the first to confuse him? No, that wasn't like the Snorkan style at all. It had to be more complex than just a lot of look a like rooms.

Suddenly Zim remembered something from the Invader Academy. It was fuzzy, as were all his memories of that place, but Zim was certain he had seen something like this. It had been a maze, but some of the rooms had moved. Yes, that's what it was. The maze had been installed his last year and the academy and hadn't been fully developed but he remembered one of his teachers telling him about it. It was a favorite Snorkan pass-time. The rooms would move seemingly at random and you could set the doors to close at different times. Times!

Zim looked up just as all the doors slammed shut. Well this wasn't good.

***

"Well Doctor, what's wrong with me?" asked a very nervous patient.

"Well, there's something wrong with the blobby, spongy, thingy in your head," said the doctor, a little green dog dressed in a spiffy white coat. The doctor examined some X-rays of the man's head and drew a little mustache on the X-ray of the skull; he giggled uncontrollably. 

"You mean my brain?" said the patient a little confused. 

"Yes! Now we operate!" GIR grabbed one of those little rubber hammers and a tongue depressor and jumped on top of the patient who started screaming. It was all going downhill very fast when the speaker suddenly crackled into life. GIR looked up from his twitching patient.

"Doctor GIR, you're needed in Delivery," said a voice over the loud speaker. The door opened a guy decked out in scrubs grabbed GIR and started heading for 'Delivery'.

"Yay Delivery!" yelled GIR. "Is that like Deli?"

AN: *Laughs like a maniac* I think that just might be my best chapter yet! If I get some reviews you might just find out what happens next. Not that I need that many reviews, apparently only one person reads this thing anyway *scowls*. Anyway, next chapter coming out whenever; things are actually going to get interesting.


	4. Unwanted Alliances

Author's Note: I know I'm supposed to be working on whatever fic you people voted for but I haven't had the chance to even check my reviews. I've been reading stories off the school computers but review pages and bio pages and other random pages don't work on the ancient browsers for some reason. Anyway, I'll go check my reviews and see which fic you actually want to read. I'm pretty sure this chapter should be better than the previous ones if you can just get past the first couple paragraphs, wait until you see the part about GIR! Hang in there!

Disclaimer: I don't own Zim.

Zim swallowed hard as some sort of strange beast finished materializing in the center of the room. It was to dim to see just what it was but he was fairly sure it was at least taller than he was. There was no doubt in his mind as to what this was. While the Snorkans weren't bent on galactic domination they did how ever enslave the odd mystical creature every now and then and this must be one of them. For Zim was almost absolutely sure that this was one of the fabled Blortens from the ancient planet of Kyaz. 

Blortens were shape-shifting parasites that fed off the emotions of their prey. Their favorite snack being fear of course. They went about getting dinner by tapping in to their defenseless victims' minds and transforming into whatever their prey feared most. It was really an unpleasant feeling having your brain invaded and then gleaned for information and he rather resented the fact that the thing had apparently discovered something he was afraid of. Zim hadn't even been aware that he was afraid of something.

Swallowing the annoying lump that had formed in his throat Zim came out from behind the block he had been hiding behind. Whatever it was he was going to face it or die trying. The thing finished solidifying and took a step towards. Zim couldn't see what it was in the dim light and he was rather annoyed to find himself shaking. He could feel the thing breathing on him. Opening his eyes all the way he took a good look at it. It was…. *that* monkey!

Zim broke into a bout maniacal laughing. "You think I fear that stupid monkey from that pathetic human show GIR watches! You must be kidding me!" Zim collapsed on the floor in a fit of laughter. The creature tilted its head confused as to why its intended victim's response. "You think…" gasped Zim standing up and glaring at the thing mockingly. "You think that I, ZIM, would fear that stupid monkey! It's disgusting, that's for sure, but I would never fear some stupid Earth cartoon. At least not forever…. Anyway! I will now destroy you and end your pathetic attempts to _scare_ me." The creature seemed to think about this tilting its head in the other direction. Then it grunted and once again started to morph. 

Zim, who had once again collapsed in a fit of giggles, suddenly looked up only to be confronted with a giant monkey. "Sweet jumpin' chilibean," gasped Zim as thing lifted it gargantuan paw to crush him. Zim dodged just as the paw smashed to the ground. Quickly the Irken deployed his spider-legs and turned to face the now very scary monkey.

From his back pod Zim produced what appeared to be a giant cattle pod. Brandishing his weapon Zim dove at the monster and proceeded to zap it viciously. Unfortunately Zim's attack did little more than surprise the Blorten. The beast soon displayed another of its unusual talents by blasting energy from its eyes and frying Zim's 'cattle prod'. Shocked and desperate Zim scampered for cover.

Zim crouched panting behind one of the large metallic cubes scattered around the room. Things certainly did not look good for our favorite Invader. If worst came to worst at least Zim could be fairly sure that the human stinkbeast had already met his doom. The foolish human hadn't known what he was in for at all. He'd thought the maze, what was it humans said, lame. Making fun of the lighting, tapping the walls….the hollow walls.

Zim almost gave away his position by yelling aloud. A maze this size couldn't exist unless the rooms had been built on top of or next to each other. And the walls probably had empty space for wiring in them. Looking around the make sure the monkey wasn't watching Zim hurried over to the nearest wall.

Making a hole in the wall took next to no time, it took even less time for the giant primate to realize what Zim was doing. He just barely made it through the hole before a giant paw crashed down covering the opening. Zim collapsed among the pipes and wires panting. He had surely escaped certain doom this time. But before the Invader could congratulate himself the sound of ripping metal startled him. The monkey was tearing up the wall and floor.

~*~ Meanwhile

GIR wondered down the street towards home feeling very confused. It is probably best to too mention just what he was confused about it is enough for you know that he was very confused and had just been fired from his position of a doctor in the maternity ward. All this did not stop the little android for long though. And as impossible as it may seem he actually remembered his master's predicament and rushed home to find a way to save him.

Before long GIR was in the lab looking at all the neat gadgets trying to remember why he'd been in such a hurry. But then GIR saw a machine that pushed Zim completely out of his mind. You see, reading was actually one of GIR's skills and he liked to practice it as often as possible. So when he saw an interesting box-like device with lots of buttons and pretty letters he couldn't help but going over to check it out.

"Ca-lon-in-ga….ca-lon… cologne!" said GIR proudly. "Yay! Cologne Machine! I wanna smell good!" With that GIR jumped inside the machine and started hitting buttons.

~*~ Meanwhile

Dib was having a weird day. One second he'd been standing there waiting for death, hoping he could go out bravely, the next watching a giant hole being ripped in the 'sky' and watching first Zim then a giant monkey fall through. Zim had been lucky and grabbed the edge of the cliff, the monkey hadn't. The giant primate had come crashing down through the hole and smashed into the robot dog that had been preparing to devour Dib. Both monkey and dog had tumbled off the cliff and were plummeting to their doom. Dib recalled the look on the monkey's face as it was pushed from its own area only to meet its ultimate demise, he could sympathize. 

~

Zim picked himself up and strode towards the dumb struck human. The Dib-worm was currently staring off into space; a thing that Zim found humans did annoyingly often. Sighing Zim realized he'd have to find away to snap the annoying creature out of it.

"I see you're still alive," said Zim casually, his red eyes glaring into Dib's glazed amber eyes.

"I am?" replied Dib still staring off into space.

"Dib, you may be brain dead but you are most certainly breathing."

"That's nice."

Zim snorted. "Hardly. Your breath is putrid. Let us leave this place, quickly."

"Us? As in me and you?" asked Dib finally focusing.

Zim rolled his eyes, an expression Dib almost missed because of Zim's lack pupils. "No, as in me and that giant monkey. Lets go Dib, now!"

"So… you have some sort of plan to get us out? Are you going to use one of your gadgets?" asked Dib finally coming back to his senses.

"Actually I'm going to use a number of my 'gadgets'," replied Zim examining the wall.

"Right, any idea where we are?"

"I have an impeccable sense of direction."

"Oh, so I should write my will now while we have time then." Zim didn't reply, he was busy boring a hole in the wall.

~*~ Meanwhile

There was a puff of smoke as GIR stepped out of the 'Cologne Machine'. Sniffing the air GIR frowned as he realized he didn't smell any different.

"Aw man," said GIR disappointedly. 

"The cologne didn't work," added a second GIR stepping out of the machine. 

"But the machine said 'cologne'," said a third GIR stepping out and examining the writing on the side of the machine.

"That's what I thought too," said yet another GIR stepping out to join the group.

"Oh well," concluded GIR number 5.

"Hi!" greeted the first GIR enthusiastically. 

"Hi!" answered the other GIRs waving. 

"Are you here to help me?" asked the first GIR hopefully.

"I don't know," answered the second GIR.

"But we'll help you anyway," added the third GIR. Other GIRs nodded in agreement.

"Yay!" cheered the first GIR. "Now what was I going to do?" all the GIRs lapsed into thought. 

"I know!" shouted one of the GIRs. The others looked up expectantly. "We were gonna order pizza!"

"And go get brain freezies!" added another.

"And rent videos!" chorused another.

"And play with pig!"

"I like pig!"

"Meee tooo." With that all the GIRs except one rushed out of the room to get the said items.

But on GIR, the original GIR stayed behind. Somehow he didn't think it was a party he'd been planning. Oh well, he'd remember what it was later. With that GIR scampered off to join his new found friends, not even bothering to turn off the 'Cologne Machine'.

~*~ Meanwhile

"The exit should be in this room," said Zim as he climbed through a hole in the wall followed by a very battered Dib.

"You've said that 7 times already," groaned Dib as he staggered across the floor.

"Minor miscalculations," stated Zim casually without looking at Dib. "They even happen to me, infrequently but they do happen."

"Oh sure."

"Hey! You don't have to be here!"

"Well excuse me for seeing the obvious. And it's not like you've been warning me what to expect at all."

"I told you about that squid!"

"Yeah! After it had already stuffed me in its mouth!"

"Well I helped you get out."

"You laughed! The thing threw up!"

"I can't blame it either, you really do smell horrible."

"I was in the squid! Crustaceans don't use breath mints Zim!"

"Anyway, the exit should be right over here," said Zim walking off.

"It had better be," muttered Dib following him.

"Listen here you…" Zim trailed off as a giant screen lowered from the ceiling. The screen flickered and the image of a short, stout, ugly snorkan appeared.

"Who's that?" asked Dib in a whisper. Zim didn't reply. Dib gulped visibly guessing immediately.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Author's Note: All right, I'll go work on my other fics now. Just had to get that out of my system.


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